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How To Reach Peak Masculinity In 7 Simple Steps

By ein_ at 29 days ago • 0 collector • 12 pageviews

1. Disrespect women at all costs.

There’s going to be a lot of feminists out there who’ll disagree with this next step, but that’s just because they hate men being manly. Disrespect is key. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Ever. All over your town there are women walking down the street just begging to be disrespected.

You can even disrespect your girlfriend! For example, ask for her father’s permission before you propose to her. Women like to think that they can make their own life decisions all by themselves, but it’s generally best to defer to the next man available. Besides, you want an answer sometime this millennium, right?


2. Remind people that you do indeed have genitals.

The simple truth is, people might’ve forgotten. You can’t have people thinking that you don’t have functional genitals. Get creative. “Jeeze, it’s such a chore to keep my cock and balls tucked in my underwear,” might yield a passerby to think, “Oh yeah! He does have a cock and balls! I’d forgotten that men have those!” People forget things pretty easily, and remembering stuff is hard…but not harder than my dick! See? It’s that easy. Say these things literally every chance you get.


3. Don’t be a pussy.

If you need me to elaborate, you have already failed.


4. Project the stereotype like a human stereo.

Let it consume you. Suppress all urges and conflicting behavior until you devolve into a hollow shell of a human. If being a “shell of a human” doesn’t sound appealing, try to think of something more pleasant, like, shells you might find during a nice long walk on the beach. Not so terrible, right? Intricate little things of beauty carved over time from coalesced sediment in the ocean. Man, seashells are beautiful. UM—I MEAN GAY. SEASHELLS ARE GAY.


5. Seashells are gay.

If you like seashells so much maybe you should put them in your gay butthole, fairy.


6. Die living by a reductive idea of what it means to be a man.

Dying is the most masculine thing ever, dude. It’s going to get you so much pussy. After a long life of perpetuating the male macho stereotype, you’re finally done! It’s important not to forget step #1 as you come to the end of your life. That means no crying, whimpering, or sulking about how you could’ve done things differently. Do not go gentle into that good night, pussy. Take death it as it comes, and take it honorably. Take it like a man.


7. Assert Dominance

Become the bully for enhanced dominance experience.


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